hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
