So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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