How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
