Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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