There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
