The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
