I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
