Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
