I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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