I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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