Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Randomize
