i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
