I met the friendliest cop last night
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
How naked do you want me to be?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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