Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
accomplished twins. life is a go
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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