He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
