If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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