but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
