goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
