Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
