I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I have peed in a lot of sinks
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
