Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
