Betty ford says i'm here all night
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
