He asked to "fluff my boner.."
where am i from again
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I am naked and annoyed.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
