Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
