My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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