I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
My vagina just recognized that song.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
