my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
