At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
