The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
