They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
