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Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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