they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
