fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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