I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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