I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We are two peas in an std pod
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
