I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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