Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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