none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
