He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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