Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
