would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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