Don't you send me to vm
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
