he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Randomize
