How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I could make wine with my vomit
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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