me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
