just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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