worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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