I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
