The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
