I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
