I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
