he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
