You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
