Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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