Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Enjoy the penises
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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