she woke up with a sticky ear
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
did you just send me my own nude
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
