U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
there's paper in my vomit.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
