thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My brain says no but my pants say off.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
