Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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