stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
