Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
