You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
