Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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