My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
