I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
