Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
