i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
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