I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
