I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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