i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
time to smoke my breakfast
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
