She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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