look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You ruined the universe
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
