No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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