so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
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I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
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I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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